Theft

My daily reading brought me to a set of questions that needed attention.  So I have taken a very short amount of time and just as little thought answering them. You will notice that some of the questions have been changed to fit my particular circumstances.


1) How is it that I am strong enough to carry my 18 month old daughter in my arms but I am not strong enough to hold her down to change her diaper? 
A. It all has to do with the physics of willingness on the part of the beholden. She wants to be holden.

2) How can wearing socks often be the difference between my being warm or cold? 
A. Heat escapes from the feet and head. In my case, when sleeping I can't wear socks because they make my legs hurt. I don't know why.

3) Why can I play basketball for 3 hours straight but if I go for a run I am ready to die after 2 minutes? 
A. I don't play basketball. March Madness for me is nothing more to me that too many months in the rain.  And I my death meter runs out after 4 minutes.

4) Why are 4 year olds so smart and inquizative and teenagers the opposite? 
A. Teenagers don't want to look stupid. 4 year olds can't look stupid in their own eyes.

5) Why do dogs and kids listen so well unless they don't feel like it? 
A. I'm sorry, what were you saying?

6) When the price of a barrel of oil doubles, why does the price of gas at the pump quadruple? When the price of a barrel of oil drops 70%, why does the price of gas at the pump go down 30%?
A.  This has to be answered by any internet conspiracy theory , make your own, it's fun.

7) Is the sound of angels singing in heaven as good as the belly-laugh of a toddler?  
A. Not even close.

8) How can beer and coffee taste so good when the first time you try them they taste so bad? 
A. It is hard to like coffee and beer when you are 14.

9) When did it become unsafe to put 6 kids in the backseat of a car without seat belts or unsafe to ride in the back of a pickup truck?  
A. My question is this: How did we survive our parents raising us?

10) How is it that I was raised without computers, internet, cell phones, starbucks, and Chipotle burritos but I am not sure life would go on today without them? 
A. Addiction, sweet sweet addiction.